User Review

Recipe for "Waterworld": 1) Take "The Road Warrior." Add water. 2) Replace Mel Gibson with Kevin Costner (which would be about like removing Errol Flynn from "Robin Hood" and replacing him with... well, Kevin Costner). 3) Give the Feral Kid a sex change operation and some manners, taking care to swap his lethal boomerang for a box of crayons. 4) Take the Gyro Captain out of his copter and put him into a balloon. 5) Stir in generous but subtle portions of liberal eco-propaganda: without using the term "global warming," have it understood that the world is flooded because of something awful "the ancients" did. 6) Add a dash of oil by making the villains a marauding gang of oilmongers living in a certain famous oil tanker. 7) Add a simultaneously anti-religious AND anti-technological zest by making sure the villains' leader (Dennis Hopper) has a pseudo-religious name (the Deacon) and gives "sermons" about "progress" and "development." 8) Add a smoky flavor by calling the villains "Smokers," not only because of their use of speedboats and jet-skis, but because of their consumption of cigarettes, which were Clinton's drug menace du jour at the time. (Exactly where these cigarettes come from, in a submerged world where no tobacco grows and paper is viewed with awe, is anybody's guess.) 9) Finally, add a pinch of Oriental spice by having the tattoo-map to Dryland rendered in Asian ideographic characters--another implied rebuff to "evil" Western culture. 10) Set oven temperature to 450 degrees and incinerate $175 million.